This year will be my year. This year I am going to change. New year, new me.
So how many of you have already broken your New Year’s Resolutions?
The sad reality is that most of you don’t even make resolutions anymore. The promises you make to yourself on New Year’s Day often never make it past February. It’s as if you already know that you won’t follow through with your resolution, so now you don’t even attempt to make one.
For those of you who genuinely want a fresh start – this is for you.
Resolution: “A firm decision to do or not to do something”.
This means full, 100% focused commitment to fulfilling the objective that you have set out for yourself.
But you already know this, so how can you really achieve it? How do you create a lasting resolution that results in change?
Well there are two separating forms of motivation; push, this gets you started, and pull, this keeps you going. I think that there’s something inside of us that looks forward to the fresh calendar start – it feels like a new opportunity to start over. It gives us a sudden spark of willpower to push us towards a goal. It gives us a warmth of optimism.
Unfortunately this doesn’t last too long though. It can get you going, I admit that, but eventually it will begin to grind you down. The “push” begins to make it feel like a chore and you no longer have that spark of energy to lose that weight, stop smoking or study for that summer exam. So what happened to the “new you” you kept tweeting about?
This is where pull comes in. This means having a reason for doing what you do or wanting that desired change in your life.
As Tony Robbins says, “reasons come first and answers come second”.
It all starts with a very clear and compelling vision. Let’s be honest with each other, there will be many times when you feel lazy, bored and heavily unmotivated. The only thing that will drag you out of bed each and every day to go after that goal is a strong purpose to pull you forward. When you hit those slumps, it’s important to remind yourself of why you set that goal for yourself in the first instance; ask yourself if you don’t do it, what will it cost you and if you do, what will you gain?
Here’s another tip – avoid negative goal setting. For example, anything that involves “I’m not”, “I can’t” etc. Instead, rephrase your goals and focus on positive targets that enable you to do more and be more. This will create the opportunity for progression and progress ultimately breeds fulfilment.
The simple key to having a better year than the last is to raise your standards – expect more from yourself. If you can’t even hold yourself to your own standards, how can you expect others to see you in that way? You’ve got to hold yourself accountable.
Here’s the thing, you don’t always get what you want or think you should have but you almost always do get what you must have. If you believe that something is a “must have” in your life then that becomes the absolute expectation and concrete standard. You attach yourself to that standard. You want that 1st in your university course this year don’t you? Make it a must have. You want to lose that weight for summer? Make it a must do. You want to become a better partner? Make it a must be. This way of thinking makes it a habit and not a hobby.
So if you haven’t already set a goal for yourself this year, then take some time to think about it now. This time next year, make sure that you can proudly say that you achieved what you said you would.
Happy New Year everyone.
And remember, pull not push.